I have bought maybe 4 things. This is going to be a weird year. First time not having x_mas w/out the family, my family. No special cookies, no fancy dishes, no turkey etc. But I will have Mike and his family. Mmmmm yeah somehow I think its just not going to be the same. I am in a funk big time. Always happens this time of year, every year like clockwork. The less sun I get the less happy I am. I have been trying to distract myself with all these things Im making and up until yesterday it was working. Now I really dont give a shit if they get done or not. I refuse to go to the "mall" to buy anything this yearthats not my idea of a good way to spend my time or my money. I really dont have to buy anything for anyone anyway. No one will be here to get their gifts. I could send them sure but the whole idea is seeing the reaction. I havent made any cookies and that is my favorite thing to do. I have no desire to make such a big mess. The lights on the tree have been on maybe 3 times and were not even in the room when they are on. I guess Im just not in the mood this year to do anything. I dont really have anyone to do it with. So I am going back to my room to forget about this whole crummy holiday and the fact that I am turning 32 in January. Yeah that whole where do you want to be in 5 yrs idea totally backfired. Sure didnt think I would be here. Could be worse could be worse.